


A Body Full of Pain

by Hinn_Raven



Series: A Different Game [5]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Body Image, Dark Stephanie Brown, Dimension Travel, Female Friendship, First Meetings, Gen, Implied/Referenced Torture, Injury, Mentors, Past Relationship(s), Red Hood!Stephanie Brown, Reminiscing, Scars, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2018-04-29 15:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5132285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hinn_Raven/pseuds/Hinn_Raven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles and prompts about Red Hood!Steph and the universe around her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ugly

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have any concrete ideas on where to take this universe, but if you have something you'd like to see in this 'verse, head on over to my tumblr and send me a note!

Stephanie Brown could remember that she had once been beautiful.

Maybe it was vanity, thinking that, but it was a part of her memories of before. She remembered long, golden hair that touched her waist sometimes, and bright blue eyes that twinkled. She remembered boys kissing her by lockers and girls kissing her under bleachers and she could sometimes hear the echoes, “God, you’re so beautiful.”

Sometimes it was Tim’s voice. Sometimes it wasn’t.

The window that allowed the Bats to spy on her in her cell was a giant mirror. She couldn’t escape seeing what she had become every single day of her miserable existence.

Her face was hard now. Baby fat had melted away over the years, replaced by jarring angles. The scars on her face, although mild compared to the rest of her, were still noticeable and hateful. Bruce on her lip. The mask on her eyebrow. Her father on her nose.

She usually changed behind the screen provided, but sometimes she couldn’t be bothered, and sometimes she was trying to provoke them, so she’d strip carelessly.

She couldn’t avoid the scars then. The Y of the autopsy, the web of knives and drill bits. The broken angles of her fingers, the pale scar tissue that covered the tips.

“I love you,” her mother said to her, sometimes, when she came in, Cass there to stop Steph in case she decided her mother was a target of her anger. 

Steph laughed whenever Crystal said that. “I’m damaged goods,” she whispered.

It was fitting, Steph supposed, that her outside reflected her inside.


	2. Sweets

“I brought you waffles,” Cass said quietly. 

Steph glared at her. She had thrown the mattress onto the floor yesterday in a pique of rage, and she hadn’t bothered to replace it on the frame. So she was sitting on the bed, flipping through the pages of a book. 

“Why do you keep coming here?” Steph demanded. “There’s nothing for you here. I’m not who you want me to be.”

“You’re you,” Cass replied, setting the plate of waffles on the floor.

Steph scowled. “Locking me up isn’t changing anything,” she snapped, but she picked up the plate and didn’t throw it back at her. Progress. 

“I know,” Cass admitted. “But it’s still better than before.” 


	3. Through Me

“Steph, don’t!” Tim threw his arms out, blocking her access. The man fell to the ground behind him, breathing heavily.

“Give me one good reason why I should let that piece of scum live,” Steph hissed. He couldn’t see her face behind the helmet, but he could hear the rage in her voice. He wished he’d gotten here earlier. Maybe if that girl was still alive, things wouldn’t be this bad.

“We don’t kill!” He snapped.

“I’m not one of you!”

“I’m not just going to let you kill him!” Tim was struggling to shield the man with his body. Steph’s hand that held her gun twitched.

“Please!” The man sobbed.

“Is that what she said before you killed her?” Steph said, voice dangerously low.

“We’ll take him to jail, Steph, we can handle this inside of the law.”

Steph tilted her head to one side. “Do you even realize who he is? He’s one of Masks’ guys. He’ll be out in a day, Robin.”

“We’ll _handle_ it,” he insisted. “If you want him, you’ll have to go through me.”

Steph seemed to freeze. For a second, Tim thought everything would be alright.

“You’ll live,” Steph said flatly.

Tim let out a scream as the bullet passed through his leg to hit the man in the chest. Falling to the ground, he twisted, trying to check on the real target.

The man was already dead.

“Steph!” He called after her.

She didn’t look back.


	4. Twisted Mirror

“So. You’re Stephanie Brown.”

“And you’re Jason Todd,” Steph rolled her eyes. She tugged at the cuffs. “Were these really necessary?” She called over towards the one-way mirror.

“You tried to strangle Tim last time he was in here,” Jason pointed out.

“ _Tried_ ,” Steph pointed out. “He tasered me after like, three seconds.”

“Apparently tasering you isn’t a good way to conduct the fact that you should trust us.”

“I think that ship sailed when you all locked me up,” Steph observed.

“I don’t know you well enough to pass that judgment.”

Steph leaned forward, curious. “Is that what this is about? You want to see the bad Robin? Curious about the epic fuck up?”

“We’re alike-” Jason tried to say, but she laughed at him.

“Like hell we are,” Steph whispered darkly. Jason realized she had slipped the cuffs just in time to leap to his feet and make his way to the door.

She slammed her fists against the mirror, scowling at him. “Slippery asshole, aren’t you? No wonder the Joker couldn’t kill you!”

Jason took a deep breath. He glanced up at Alfred, who’d been watching the entire time.

“I think that could have been worse.” 


	5. Familiar Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For anon, and seguement, who wanted to see Babs and Steph!
> 
> This takes place sometime after Eyes Full of Flame, during which Steph has managed to reach some sort of tentative truce with the family. How they got there, I don’t know. Honestly, they probably aren’t entirely sure either. Alternate universes may be involved.

“Are you going to say anything?” Babs asked Stephanie, raising an eyebrow.

The Red Hood lurked in the corner of the Tower, arms crossed and her expression bored. She’d switched out her brown leather jacket for black, and she now didn’t carry any guns. Her reluctant truce with the family in the wake of Bruce’s death had carried that requirement. Her helmet was off, and resting at her feet, giving Babs a rare glimpse of her face.

“You always wanted me to shut up, before,” Steph said, and there was a touch of bite to it, but she mostly sounded bored.

Babs bit her lip, and didn’t respond. She knew better than to say she now missed the young, laughing chatterbox that Stephanie Brown had once been. Things were still tense enough with the Red Hood as it was; no need to make things worse by digging into the past.

Babs focused on her computer instead of regretting the past.

She had never thought that Stephanie Brown should be a vigilante. She’d used autopsy photos to scare away Charlie, but even before Stephanie’s death, she’d never been her biggest supporter. Stephanie had been an outlier in the family, and Babs had never been able to shake that fear. Steph didn’t have years of martial arts training like Babs and Tim; she didn’t have a lifetime of specialized learning like Dick and Cass. She didn’t even have street brawling knowledge and Bruce’s mentorship like Jason. Stephanie Brown had thrown herself into the vigilante business with three self-defense classes under her belt and the knowledge that she shouldn’t tuck her thumb inside her fist when she punched someone. She was reckless and untrained and under-armed. Babs had trained her some; most of the family had, by the end of it. By the time she became Robin, the girl was fairly skilled.

And now, looking at the reflection of the Red Hood in the monitors, Babs wondered how much better she would have become, had they given her a chance.

“Got the location and the name,” Babs said, pulling it up on the largest screen so that Stephanie could see.

Steph leaned close, frowning. “I know him. I put him in the hospital after he went after one of my girls.”

 _Her girls_. The sex workers of Gotham still rally under the Red Hood, even after the turbulence of the past few years.

“He has quiet the record,” Babs mused, pulling up his rap sheet for Steph. “And it looks like he’s adding to it.”

“Right, I’ll head on over,” Stephanie reached down and picked up her helmet.

“No killing,” Babs said.

Steph glared at her. “I don’t take orders from you,” she spat, before placing her helmet on her head with more force than was necessary.

Steph’s footsteps as she left were slightly louder than usual, and Babs hoped she hadn’t messed up. 


	6. Portals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> barid-bel-medar asked "It would be awesome seeing some sort of dimension rift happening and RH!Steph getting to meet RH!Jason."

Jason had always known there were worlds where he and the rest of them were women; given that there’s apparently worlds where he’s not only Catholic, but a priest, it takes a lot more than that to surprise him at this point, especially when it comes to the multiverse.

Admitedly, he hadn’t thought it would be _his_ counterpart that they would meet first.

She was shorter than him and thinner, but she was faster and almost as strong, as he was learning as she attacked.

“Listen to me, dammit! Ow! Fuck!” She’d kicked him into a nearby chimney. He was honestly just surprised she hadn’t shot him yet. He probably would have, had he emerged from a mysterious portal only to find a doppleganger on the other side.

Fucking dimensional travel.  

“If you would just fucking take a minute– _Jesus_!” Her knife is out now, and he barely dodges a swipe.

“What kind of bullshit is this?” The voice beneath the helmet is familiar, and Jason freezes, giving her the opportunity to knock him over, pinning him to the ground with her knee.

“What the actual– _Brown_?” He gasped out. She paused, clearly recognizing his voice.

“ _Todd_?“ She jerked back, and he took advantage to get away.

They took off their helmets in unision, and Jason stared.

Blonde hair, cut short. Familiar dark blue eyes. The scars were different. She was broader than the Brown he knew, and there was something familiar in her stance and in her scowl. Rage. Anger. Hurt.

It didn’t belong on Stephanie Brown’s face.

He saw her looking at him, and he realized that she was thinking the same thing as he was.

"Fuck the multiverse,” he said.

Running her hand through hair hair, Stephanie Brown nodded.


	7. Two Way Street

Steph had known working girl for years. When she’d been Spoiler, they’d been fond of her, encouraging her and laughing at her antics. When she’d been Robin, they’d loved her. They always love Robin. Everyone loves Robin.

But now, as the Red Hood, they’re _hers_.

There are too many of them in Gotham to count, and Steph wouldn’t want to try. But all of them know; if you need help, call the Hood. How they could contact her depended on who they were, but there were always ways to reach a Bat, even one like Steph.

Even though she wasn’t a bat.

They were hers. She protected them, she helped them when she could. She got Lucy into rehab, she loaned Pam the money she needed to make rent, and the customers quickly learned that the Red Hood would find them quickly if they hurt or cheated the prostitutes.

They were under the protection of the Hood.

But Steph was still surprised when she realized that they _liked_ her.

“Come to the bar with us,” Tina said, one day after dropping off more names for Steph to track down later. Three other women hung back, having finished giving Steph their own reports. She knew all of their names; Monica was a pretty black woman with three kids at home and a fondness for pain pills that sent chills up Steph’s spine, Opal was a leggy brunette who drank more than she should, and Stella was a tiny woman from Mexico who worked the streets in between two other jobs.

Steph had so much to do still that night.

But she’d sprained her wrist last night, so fighting wasn’t a good idea, and her fingers were getting that familiar itch again.

Maybe a drink would distract her from the urge to punch walls until her hands bled.

It wasn’t the first time Tina had made that offer; she made it once a week, on the slow night. The women accompanying her were different each time; Tina was the only one who Steph called in every week.

But it was the first time that Steph set down her pen.

“Sure, why not? My treat.”


	8. I Can't Wait to See You Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anon asked for "Steph and Kara bump into each other sometime after their team up", so please read Eyes Full of Flame before you read this one.

Kara had heard that Stephanie Brown was now on their side. Everyone knew. After the Crisis, after the fighting, the Red Hood had emerged as a tentative ally of the Bat Family as a whole, and, by proxy, the rest of the super hero world.

But that didn’t mean she expected to see her in the Bat Cave.

Stephanie barely seemed to spare her a glance. Behind her, a girl wearing bright red goggles and a cape over an inconspicuous black Kevlar outfit hovered, expression uncertain.

“I’ve got the information you wanted,” Stephanie said to Tim. Kara narrowed her eyes, allowing herself to look past the helmet.

Stephanie looked… alright. There were circles under her eyes and her heart rate was elevated due to stress. There was a tension in her body and she looked at Tim as if he was something dangerous, about to explode.

Tim looked at Stephanie the same way.

It wouldn’t last, Kara realized, watching them. This truce, this peace, whatever they had, it was so fragile that the slightest breeze might disrupt it.

There was so much pain on both sides, but no one knew what to do.

“Hello Stephanie,” Kara said, hoping to distract the two.

Steph blinked, almost as if she hadn’t realized Kara was there. She had. Of course she had. She was a Bat, after all. As much as they all might deny it.

“Kara,” beneath the helmet, Steph smiled slowly, a smirk that Kara recognized clearly. “How long are you in town for?”

“Not long. I just came to drop some things off for Barbara.”

Steph’s smile was somewhere between taunting and flirting. “Maybe we can meet up some time and catch up.” There was an angle to her eyebrows that Kara remembered all too well.

“Maybe,” Kara said, but she knew she wouldn’t.

Stephanie Brown was a dangerous, volatile woman, and Kara liked her far too much.

Things were easier when the lines were clear.


	9. She's the Salt of the Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin meets Scarlet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So a quick update on this AU:
> 
> Requests are still open! Head on over to my tumblr to drop me an ask with a chapter suggestion, or just in the comments! Some upcoming chapters include:  
> Dick and Steph interacting  
> Tina POV  
> Steph and Nell meeting
> 
> If you want to see more stuff from this universe (including an amazing cosplay of this universe's Steph!) head on over to the tag on Tumblr, found [here!](http://secretlystephaniebrown.tumblr.com/tagged/a-different-game-verse)
> 
> I also made a playlist for this universe, [here!](http://8tracks.com/secretlyspoiler/a-mouth-full-of-blood/)

Finding the residence of the Red Hood was far easier than it used to be, much to Damian’s disappointment. Brown had spent months and years running under the radar, operating out of rundown buildings and shell companies to hide from the eyes of his father and the Oracle.

Now, though, she lived in an apartment near Crime Alley, and didn’t hide it.

Damian scowled as he focused the lenses of his binoculars. Brown wasn’t in tonight; there was a drug bust that she was running with Cain, who was in town for the weekend.

Nell Little, however, ought to be inside.

Damian had known Brown for quite a while. He wanted to figure out who, exactly, had convinced her to teach them, despite having no background in martial arts or any experience in the criminal underworld that Brown thrived in.

He frowned. He didn’t have a visual on Little. Given the size of the apartment and the earliness of the night, he ought to be able to see her.

“Ooh, whacha doin’?”

Damian spun around, reaching for a sword he no longer carried.

Nell Little was taller than him. That information rankled.

She wore a red cape that reminded him vaguely of Brown’s uniform as Spoiler, with the hood pulled over her head, hiding the tufts of crinkly hair that he knew she had. The lenses of her large, red goggles gleamed brightly in the light of the streetlamps, and but her bright grin was fully visible.

Damian scowled. “Aren’t you supposed to be inside?”

Little pulled down her hood, showing the rest of her face. She was pretty, Damian supposed, and about his age. With her hood down, he could see how heavy her armor was (far too much for someone of her size, clearly Brown’s design instead of Little’s) and recognize the odd caricature of his father’s symbol that Brown also wore stamped across her chest.

“You set off the proximity alarm! And Steph said I couldn’t go out alone, but if you’re here, it’s not alone, is it?” Little’s voice was lower than it sounded on the recordings Grayson had shown him.

Damian scowled, annoyed at being caught and at the reminder. Technically, he wasn’t supposed to be out alone either, but he’d managed to give Pennyworth the slip tonight.

He paused thoughtfully.

“You think that would work?” He asked.

Little’s smile took on a mischevious turn. “If they thought we didn’t count, surely they would have told us, right?” She held out a red-gloved hand. “What do you say, Robin?”

“Tt,” Damian scoffed. “You better be able to keep up.”

“I’ve been out longer than you,” Little pointed out. “Try not to fall behind, shorty!” Then she turned away from him and began to run.

“I am not _short_!” Damian couldn’t help but shout after her before he followed.


	10. Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked for: steph meeting nell for the first time and deciding to take her on as a sidekick

The kid was skinny–too skinny, Steph noted absently in the back of her mind–and there was a scowl on her face. Her arms were crossed, and her head was bent back in order to look Steph in the eye.

“You saved my mom,” the girl said.

Steph remembered her. A girl and her mother, walking in an alley. A man with a knife.

Something had gone wrong before Steph had gotten there. The woman was bleeding, unconscious, the girl was crying. The man went down easily–she hadn’t even needed to draw her weapon.

The woman had survived, but had been taken to the hospital. Steph had heard from Tina that she was in a coma. The doctors didn’t know when she would wake up.

And now the kid had tracked her down.

“I guess I did,” Steph said cautiously, uncertain of where this was going.

The girl shifted, nervous. “I’m Nell. I want to help people too.”

Fear flooded her veins as she looked at this kid. Too skinny, too small, too young, untrained…

Her every instinct screamed against it.

But her mind superimposed a purple cape over the kid. She was younger than Steph had been by two years, but…

But Steph remembered that desperation, that _need_. And one look at the kid told her that saying no wouldn’t stop anything, just like it had been with her.

She shook her head, and took off her helmet.

“If you’re going to do this,” she said, ignoring how Nell’s eyes went wide at seeing her face. “You’re going to have to agree to follow my rules.”

“Absolutely!” The girl said, practically bouncing in place. “I promise!”

“Well then,” Steph held out a hand for Nell to shake. “Hello Nell. I’m Stephanie Brown.”


	11. Saving Her, One Step at a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bunch of people asked for more Tina, and one anon specifically asked for Steph getting saved by her girls. This isn’t really Steph getting saved; more like Steph getting help she doesn’t know she needed.

Tina knew superheroes. Everyone in Gotham did. Gotham overflowed with them; Bats and Birds and everything in between. Some lasted. Others didn’t. The tour busses that wandered around town with giant bat symbols emblazoned on their sides had to update their guides almost every week.

When Tina had met the Red Hood for the first time, she had thought that she wouldn’t last.

Anger fizzled off the girl in waves, as well as something that was harder to place, as she punched the John who’d been harassing Pat for the past week hard enough to knock his teeth loose.

“You better not let me see your face around here again,” The Hood had snapped, and Tina’s eyebrows went up as she kept herself between Pat and the man, who was spitting blood onto the ground.

Tina had been hearing rumors about the Red Hood, but none of the rumors had mentioned that she was a woman.

“You two alright?” Her voice was gentler as she looked at them.

“We’re fine,” Tina said, trying to read the Hood.

Somewhere between hero and crime lord, she decided. Maybe one that wanted to be the other.

Tina waited for the demand; protection in exchange for money, but the Hood didn’t say anything else.

She turned around and walked away, leaving them in the alley.

* * *

The second time Tina met the Hood, she was working for her.

The Red Hood was now someone that Tina trusted, albeit only slightly. But she hadn’t hurt any of them, and they had come to an agreement.

Information for protection.

The girls in her section had appointed Tina to bring the reports to the office building that the Red Hood apparently was working out of.

The Red Hood took the envelope with a nod. Tina tried not to stare.

The Red Hood was younger than she had thought she’d be. Her hair was short and blonde and her eyes were a cutting dark blue. Her nose was crooked in the formerly-broken way, and the smile she gave to Tina was slightly too tight to be real.

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you, you hear?” Tina said, and she meant it. She didn’t know why.

(Months later, she remembered. A Robin with long blonde hair and a smile, crouching on Tina’s fire escape.

“If you have any trouble, come and find me, okay?” The girl was younger than Tina, but Tina couldn’t help but believe her. She believed that she would help. Even though she was just one girl out of the dozens Robin had probably saved that day alone, she didn’t doubt that Robin would at least _try_.

Years later, Tina asked Stephanie Brown if she remembered her.

Steph shook her head. Tina didn’t mind.)


	12. The Mangled Past, the Bright Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have wanted to bring Duke Thomas into the Red Hood Steph verse for some time. Originally, he was slated to make his debut in the next Big entry, but I kind of wanted to establish some more things off the… well. Bat. It’s my first time seriously writing Duke, but I really did have fun with him and hope to do so again soon!
> 
> This takes place sometime before The Bitter Taste of Graveyard Dirt.

There was a kid in the Batcave.

“Who are you?” Steph asked, squinting at him. He looked to be about fifteen or sixteen. His dreadlocks were pulled into a ponytail behind his head.

“You’re the Red Hood!” He yelped, backing away from her. A smart reaction, all things considered, from someone who might have just broken into the Cave.

“Sure am. That doesn’t answer my question,” she said.

“This is Duke.” Cass’s ability to come and go silently as she pleased was always uncanny, but Steph had long since learned to adjust to it. She hesitated, placing a hand on Duke’s shoulder as she looked at Steph. “He’s my Robin.”

Steph felt her breath leave her lungs. Of course Cass would have a Robin. Damian was far too young to spend his days following Cass across the world, despite the hero worship. An older, wiser Robin would be called for, to fight alongside the International Bat.

She knew what Cass was afraid of. Steph was volatile by nature, and she had attacked Tim time and time again for reclaiming the mantle of Robin. Damian was different; Steph and Damian went way back, and he was Dick’s partner anyways. Duke was to be _Cass’s_ partner, and he was a stranger to Steph. There was no mistaking the way that Cass stood, just perfectly on the balls of her feet, ready to move if Steph snapped. Steph wished she could be offended, but how could she be? She had done far worse things than attack a sixteen-year-old for the crime of fulfilling a dream that Steph had once held close to her heart.

Steph examined the kid more closely. He was decently muscled for a sixteen-year-old; certainly he was bulkier than Steph or Tim had been when they’d been his age. He was already taller than Cass, a fact which Steph knew she would get _excellent_ mileage out of, and he had a serious look on his face.

She wondered how Cass had found him, how she had chosen him. Would he balance Cass out, like Robin was supposed to balance Batman? Looking around the cave, she saw scraps of fabric laid out, in the Robin colors. Apparently the kid was inclined to favor yellow as his primary color, which would be interesting.

She hoped he was better at the job than she had been.

Steph nodded, and pulled off her helmet. She tucked it under her left arm, and stuck out her other hand. “Well this will be _interesting_ ,” she said.

He stared at her, and she flinched internally, guessing what he was about to say.

“You’re _Stephanie Brown_!”

There was nothing quite so uncomfortable as the fact that people knew who she was. Stephanie Brown, the Spoiler, the Robin who had died. The blonde superhero, recognizable even years later, with heavy scarring and short hair. Long after baby fat had faded away and the signature smile had shriveled and died, people could still see _Stephanie Brown_ in the mangled remains that was _The Red Hood_.

She had once been scared that Bruce would not be able to recognize her when she took off her helmet. Now, it seemed that every time she took off her helmet, someone recognized her as what she was; the twisted ghost of the failed Robin, smeared in blood.

She flashed him a grin with too many teeth. “Stephanie Brown died.”

“But…” he looked at her, and then turned to look at Cass.

“Steph,” Cass reprimanded, looking disapproving. Cass hated it when Steph was flippant about her own death, especially when she tried to use it to wiggle out of questions she didn’t want to answer.  

She shrugged, making eye contact with Cass. Being the Bat suited Cass; it gave her an aura of confidence and power that went beyond what she’d had before. Even standing there in sweats, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, Steph wondered how anyone could see her as anything else. “What? I did.”

“You _died_?” There was horror there, as well as incredulity. Steph wondered what the kid would say if she pulled down the high neck of her shirt to reveal the autopsy scars.

Steph’s grin felt brittle to her. “Funny thing they never tell you about being a superhero. They don’t tell you that death is just _that_ much less likely to stick.” And wasn’t that just unfair? Why did superheroes get to come back, when innocents who died in their wakes didn’t get to? And why did some people get glorious resurrections, while she had to claw her way out of her own grave?

Something like understanding settled on his face. He was sharp, she realized. Possibly the sharpest of the Robins in that department. She wondered how Tim felt about all this; about being replaced not once but twice over. Red Robin or whatever it was that he was calling himself these days was busy, running around with the Teen Titans and searching for evidence of whatever conspiracy theories he was gathering together this week. She wondered if he’d met the new Robin, and what he thought of him.

“You went after the Mask. I remember reading that in the papers.”

“You read _papers_?” Steph was delighted. “Oh man, please introduce him to Oracle, I can’t wait to see what she thinks of a luddite grand-protégé.”

“I’m not a luddite!”

“You’re a sixteen-year-old who reads the newspaper,” Steph said. “I call it like I see it.”

Cass laughed softly, then kissed Steph on the cheek. “Play nice,” she said, then wandered off towards the big computer.

Steph sighed. “ _When you said there was an emergency this was not what I thought you meant_!” She yelled after her best friend’s retreating back.

Cass wanted her to meet her protégé, and, Steph suspected, to know what Steph thought of him. Something warm unfurled in her stomach there; there was trust there, but more than that, there was… Cass wanted Steph to like her new sidekick. Cass cared about what she thought. It went beyond just about anything else that Cass had done for Steph, since Steph had ended up back on the side of the angels.

Well, if Cass had asked… she turned to Duke, sizing him up again. She’d _love_ to see this kid in action; she wanted to see where he fell on the spectrum of the Robins. “Well, I guess Cass has you covered on the fighting grounds,” she said thoughtfully. “You done much detective work?”

There was pride on his face as he straightened up. He wore a letterman’s jacket from a local high school. She couldn’t really remember what the patches meant, but he had a lot of them. A king of his high school, she suspected. “Yes,” he said. “I beat the Riddler’s puzzle when I was thirteen. Deduced the original Batman’s secret identity too.”

Steph’s eyebrows raised. Cass had picked _very well_ , it seemed. “Brains _and_ brawn? I demand a recount, I’m being outclassed as a Robin again.”

A beanbag flew through the air. Steph barely dodged it in time. “Missed!” She yelled at Cass, who was engrossed in whatever case file she was reading.

Duke looked between the two of them, worry wrinkling the area between his eyebrows. “I thought… Cass didn’t like killing.”

“She doesn’t,” Steph said shortly. “None of them do. But especially not her.” 

He looked around the Cave, clearly questioning her presence.  

Sometimes, Steph couldn’t help but question it herself. Since Bruce died, things were strange. There was a sort of mockery to her inclusion here, in this family. A hollow echo of the way things should have been, of the role she should have played. Suspicion and avoidance from everyone but the often absent Cassandra Cain, who alone extended a hand of forgiveness every time, no matter how often Steph had thrown the kindness back in her face.

What made her different? She wanted to ask Cass, time and time again. Why did _she_ get to be forgiven, to not be forced to pay for her crimes. Was it the secrets she held in her heart? Surely Cass realized that even if they sent Steph packing to Arkham or Blackgate, she wouldn’t tell. There was a cell in the Manor that had held her for months, until Talia had arranged for her release. They could hold her.

Steph _wanted_ to be better. She wanted to change.

But why did she _get to_?

She was scared to ask Cass, and she couldn’t ask Bruce. Maybe they believed that death had twisted her into this, failing to see that there had always been this darkness, this anger inside of her. Or maybe they believed that she hadn’t done _enough_ damage, because she had never managed to kill the targets of her rage and vengeance.

There were too many maybes.

But Steph knew what it boiled down to, at least enough to provide the newest Robin with an answer for her presence in this world.

“Cass believes that people can change,” Steph said, speaking slowly as she tried to figure out how to explain _Cass_ to this kid, who couldn’t have known her for very long. “And the old man apparently felt bad about… things. So I got to have my second chance, I guess.” She shrugged. Thinking about Bruce and his last message still hurt. She didn’t know what to do with that information. “I don’t kill these days. It’s bad for the kid.” She tried to say it lightly, but she completely failed.

“Scarlet,” he said.

“Yes. Her.” She tilted her head at him thoughtfully. “What’s your rates for babysitting? Because you look like you might be able to stop her from climbing out the window to play games with the other Robin. And you seem responsible.”

He snickered, then fell silent. He stuck his hands in his pockets, and pointedly looked over her shoulder. “You weren’t a bad Robin, you know,” he finally said. Steph’s body locked up, making it difficult to breathe. “You were my favorite, when I was a kid.”

Then he turned and walked towards Cass, leaving Steph alone, feeling tired and hollow inside.

She texted Cass “ _He’ll be fine_ ,” and then went home to Nell.


End file.
